Me Is a Dumbass

Monday, September 11, 2006

My parents went away for the weekend so I wanted to give my mom a call on her cell just now. Being smart and all, I dialed the wrong number and some guy answered, so I figured hey! It must be my dad! The conversation went like this:

Guy: “hello”
Me: “what are you doing?”
Guy: “not much what are you doing?”
Me: “where are you?”
Guy: “I’m at work!”

It was then that I realised
a)My dad is on vacation and couldn’t possibly at work
b)This dude sounded totally different than my dad.

So I did the only thing I could think of—I hung up on him. The poor guy didn’t even get an apology from me.

Be careful with ice cream..

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

Or at least the oatmeal chunk of crappa-doodle doo from Ben and Jerry’s…don’t get it on a cone…if you must, ensure that it is a waffle cone…sigh.

My delicious heaping scoop of ice cream proceeded to drip and slide down the cone and all over my hand…it was disastrous…a delicious disaster though. My friend sure thought it was funny, being all smug with her chocolate ice cream cone that was all in one piece. Sheesh. In the end I wound up accidentally dropping the rest of the cone and ice cream onto the ground and almost cried.

What is the point to this story you’re asking me? There is no point. I just wanted to grieve and share my pain with everyone else over the lost life of a potentially amazing ice cream cone, so we can all sit here and think of what could have been. The possibilities. Now I just envision the broken cone and half a scoop lying forlornly on the sidewalk by the rather smelly garbage can.

"Cone" McTasty

You will be missed.
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