Nostalgia Pop Gem

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

I don't like letting old gems go unforgotten (even in my own brain), so I must share them here!

Let me remind you of this 1998 jam by Bryan Adams ft. Melanie C. from the Spice Girls.  When will your faves dance around a faux-house with perfect harmonies?
What kind of flawless bop is this?  Missing your love from afar, hanging off the ceiling, why is there wind in your hallway anyway?  It doesn't matter because this is a pure pop gem.

Trying Hard

Monday, April 28, 2014

btw - there is a fine line between writing the first words that come from your bizarro-brain or trying hard to sound funny.  My ultimate blogging fear is that I fall into the latter category.

By writing this post I hereby declare that it is absolutely never my intention to try-hard and that I truly am writing what's first on my mind.  I am not a comedian, but simply a person who has many feels about important things like lip glosses and Scotland.

___________________
My signature goes here


Also I forgot to update with the results of my sleep test.  Results: I breathe all night with maximum oxygen levels.  Apparently choking in your sleep is not something that is a cause for concern?
Well, that's about it.  Happy Monday!

Deep thoughts

Monday, April 28, 2014

Do you ever feel like just running off to another country (or five) and becoming a free spirit with long, messy (but cool-messy) hair?  Possibly with beads in it.  Lately I've been having strong urges of needing to sit by various frothy oceans (perched on a small cliff or hill) and writing poetry in a leather-bound book about really important things.  I don't know how to write poetry though.  Maybe a journal?  Sitting by the sea and writing in a journal would make one look really interesting and like somebody that someone else should take a picture of from a distance.  That picture taken by a stranger would then be blown up and showcased at their next art show.  They would entitle the picture 'Mysterious Figure by the Sea' or something along those lines.

In reality, I would be sitting there writing a novella called 'Musings by the Ocean of my Heart'.  I'm not sure what the musings would be, maybe I could analyze wave formations or talk about what a tortured soul I am...but that sounds like another vampire novel.

Anyway the novella would appeal to anyone near any ocean, because I didn't specify which ocean it is, in the book title.

If running away to a frothy oceanside destination is not available to you, then other options include writing a blog post that makes you sound slightly odd (see disclaimer above), writing in a leather-bound book while waiting for your bus at Warden Subway Station, writing a song about it and uploading it to YouTube and then leaving multiple comments on other people's videos saying "great video please check out my video" OR you could simply not wish to run away to a faraway place and shut up and do your work!

Just some stuff

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Random fact of the day: You should wear varying heel heights regularly.  This will allow you to not only look supercool with your shoes and your feet with the shoes on them and that sort of thing, but you also won't overwork various muscles in your legs.  Which can lead to problems in the future.  I forget what they are, but trust me.  Just don't do what I do, which is wear flats every single day off your life.  Thanks UK Glamour for the knowledge!  By the way, UK Glamour is much more interesting than American Glamour, which I haven't read in years because it's incredibly boring and useless.  Also, UK Glamour uses various British words and has interesting/scandalous stories which are good to read on your lunch break, while trying to distract yourself from the loud-chewer behind you.

Here are some of the extremely interesting things I wanted to talk about today (screw politics or world issues or anything remotely intelligent and meaningful?)

Thing #1-These lip balms.

I've only pictured two of the various shades available.  Because I did not purchase all the available shades.  Do your own shade-research if you want to know more.  Thanks.


I had to upload my own picture because Annabelle doesn't even have their own product on their website yet, which leads me to believe their intern is slacking.  These new lip balms look like giant markers, and if you're a child like I am, they will instantly appeal to you ($4.99 Shoppers Drug Mart price tag).  Also, they smell good.  I got Lime and Coco-Vanilla and I want to eat them.  Maybe I already did? They are very moisturizing.  

/end of review


Thing #2-Roswell (and me being an old fart but still a child, so a fartchild I guess)

I've always had an affinity for the 90s (years later, I mean) and the television shows and music born from that era, and I still cling  to those memories and years full of wonderful teen-drama.  How come I never watched Roswell in 1999? I know I was obsessed with Buffy, but what's my excuse?  This show has everything that interested me as a teen:  romantic pairings that are hinted at instantly and then take 30 episodes to turn into anything at all, lots of long, awkward stares and meaningful looks during that courting period, aliens, 90s music in the background, 90s clothing, 'innocent' 90s dialogue (ok not really - in one scene, the main character mentions something about wanting Alien juice on her, or something along those lines...I mean, my word) and storylines that sort of make sense.  

I realise I'm not a teen and should not watch teen shows, and I do watch programs for adults,  but the storylines on some current teen shows are so convoluted that it's impossible to keep track of what's going on, unless you spend all day talking about it during class with your BFF.  If you've ever tried to watch Pretty Little Liars, which I would absolutely not recommend (especially as a grown woman) - then don't.  There are never any mysteries solved, and new mysteries are added each episode to add to the growing list of confusion in your head.  I know Buffy the Vampire Slayer's life was 'unrealistic' but when placed into a sci-fi world there has to be some aspects of ANYTHING realistic to keep it grounded.  The amount of daily-drama and murder and constant mysteries in the life of a PLL character, not to mention the CONSTANT STALKING is absurd.

The acting is either wooden or overly-enthusiastic (and why do children have perfectly waved hair and wardrobes now?  I'm talking to you, Disney channel) and if I wanted incredibly wooden acting I'd prefer it from Max and Liz back in 1999 with what sounds like a midi file in the background.  Back then, the wooden acting was at least was at least somewhat charming - but now it's due to the fact that they hired a Hollister model instead of someone trained at any acting school on earth.  

Also, I'm all for sci-fi shows where anything goes, but shows like Vampire Diaries take it too far. On Vampire Diaries you can die twelve times, sometimes be brought back, other times not be brought back, sometimes you can't die because there's some sort of spell on you or in you, sometimes someone or something possessed you, other times you possessed them, then they possessed you again and try to kill you or something, then it turns out you have 43 doppelgangers who are all trying to kill eachother, and during that time even your closest relatives and friends don't recognize the obvious change in your personality, etc.  Which one is the real you?  I mean you couldn't possibly have any distinguishing characteristics as an individual, right?  Oh no that is right, because it's called bad writing.  Not that I should be judging anyone's writing skills, but hey!  And in the year 2014's defense, I was always annoyed at that Buffy episode where Faith and Buffy switched bodies - and Buffy was SUPER pissed at Riley after for not knowing it wasn't her after the fact.  But, at least they addressed that fact - on Vampire Diaries it's just common to not recognize the fact that your brother was possessed by a gerbil.

These shows also spend so much time on shock-factors and OMG twist/cliffhanger endings (that turn out to be nothing in the next episode) that they don't focus on quality writing or characters.  Again, this could be because I'M NOT A TEENAGER but re-watching older programs leads me to believe that I'm not entirely wrong - and that more time was spent on character development, exposing underlying themes and creating/continuing subplots.  They would actually almost finalize storylines in a realistic and finite way, instead of just forgetting something happened for a few episodes and them dramatically re-introducing it later on because the ratings dropped a bit.   Also, the relationships between characters were varied, complex, difficult, oft-changing and actually interesting to watch.  Laugh if you must, but Gilmore Girls was a 'teen' drama that featured some of the most complex and interesting characters I've ever come across on TV.  Spending tons of time on internet-geek forums during the 90s and early 2000s, I noticed that people loved the characters and obsessed over them and their relationships.  These days, a quick Google will sometimes lead you to believe that girls are more interested in what the characters on their favourite program are wearing, instead.  I know this, because I've Googled such things myself.
#hypocrite

I don't know if Roswell is the best supporting example of whatever it is I'm trying to say, since I still have two seasons to watch, but I will continue to maintain that today's teen shows are absolute crap.  My entire opinion is probably invalid due to the fact that again, I am not a teen, but I mean OH WELL!!  Perhaps my strong feelings are due to nostalgia alone, and I need to get with the times?  This post has gotten way too serious for my liking. I don't know what to do now.  Shifty eyes.

Thing #3: Hannah Reid's voice

I'm all for unique people, and although she doesn't necessarily look unique (blonde, pretty, trendy clothing, three arms) her voice is, as far as today's popular acts go. Although her voice is kind of similar to Florence Welch's, so maybe it's not that unique?  Nonetheless, I guess we should be upvoting every female with a low, husky voice that has no auto-tune featured heavily as a supporting act.  Not that I give a hoot about auto-tune, as a permanent Britney Spears fan (don't hate), as long as you have the dancing skills to back it up.  Or did for at least a few years. Selena Gomez, you do not and never did.  You have really nice hair though!

Here is Hannah's band London Grammar, and one of their singles currently playing on Canadian radio:



Thing #4: Cheetos

Please, get these away from me,  it's getting out of hand!  I'm going to turn into a giant orange lump.  These must have some sort of crack in them?  Can someone explain this to me?  I love them so much. 

I wrote a song for Cheetos on behalf of Cheetos (kind of like a love song to me, by the Cheetos themselves), to the tune of Selena Gomez's master hit "Come and Get it (Na na na na)"  I worked really hard on this, so I hope you enjoy it.

"Come and Get Us (Cheetos Remix)"

When you're ready come and get us
Nyom nyom nyom nyom (3x)

When you're ready
When you're ready
When you're ready come and crunch us
Num num om nom (3x)

You ain't gotta worry, I'm an open bag of Cheetos
I'll be sitting here, I'm no Frito
All day, all night, I'll be waiting on your counter
Can't stop cause you love me, hate the way you munch me
All day, all night, maybe weight's gonna flounder, no lie

I'ma show you, nutritional info, you got some regrets
You love me too much, too much to hide me, your munch ain't finished yet
Your munch ain't finished yet...
So lady whenever you're ready

(2x)
When you're ready come and get us
Nyom om om nom (3x)

When you're ready
When you're ready
When you're ready come and get us
Mm om mm m gonnnomm NOMMM (3x)

I got the kind of crunch you want, you loud-chewer (loud chewer yeah)
And lady once you eat me, I'm gone no take backs 
You gon' love me for life, I ain't leaving your side (literally)
Even if you knock it, ain't no way to stop it ok I didn't even change those lyrics, I just wanted to point them out and say wut?


I was going to keep going but then took a step back and wondered what exactly I'm doing with my life here.  I will leave the lyrics open-ended for your own interpretation.  Perhaps you can eat your own bag of Cheetos tonight and  see if you become just as inspired as I was?  It's the greatest gift they've ever given me.

I'm going to go to Scotland, then I will come back

Friday, April 11, 2014

I have never traveled farther than Cuba, so I decided that at some point in my life I should travel over an ocean inside a flying object, and that time is now!

By now! I mean in June. I chose Scotland one night when I was wandering down a dark alley and someone threw a haggis at me. While crying in fear, I picked up the mess that was left and thought to myself "should I investigate the roots of this haggis? Do I want to know the real story behind this haggis? What kind of life story does this haggis even have? What about the body this haggis came from? What were the hopes and dreams of that particular sheep? Did that sheep one day hope to leap dramatically from its enclosure and become an internet sensation? What if this isn't really haggis I'm holding?" And at that very moment I decided I would make the journey to Scotland.

Scotland is a mystical place where everyone wears kilts (even babies), and the only place in the world where unicorns exist. It's full of cliffs and hills and rugged rocks that are ideal for photographers to tumble from, and it's full of pubs and tourist shops that are ideal for people that like pubs and tourist shops.

Once I decided I was going to Scotland, it was time to do some preliminary research on the place. Upon first glance, and utilizing my absolutely appalling geography knowledge, I had thought you could cover the entire country in (possibly) a week. Further research proved that a)I'm an idiot and b)no.

The next step was deciding which places I would pinpoint for my visit, in an effort to maximize the (almost) two weeks wisely. It was a matter of decoding several clues that Dan Brown had left all over Edinburgh, only accessible via Google Maps. In the end, after chopping off places such as the Outer Hebrides, Orkney and Shetland (to be saved for another time, or lotto win), I have come up with the below itinerary.


MY ITINERARY FOR THE GREAT SCOTLAND TRIP OF 2014 - MISSING ALOT OF WHAT I'M ACTUALLY DOING AND FEATURING THE BARE MINIMUM OF WHAT I'M DOING. THIS SHOULD MAYBE BE CALLED A LOLTINERARY

Day 0 - leave my igloo in Canada, USA. Ride the moose to the local iceport   
             and take the ice- crushing ship to the airport, where I will then fly to
             my first destination: Glasgow, UK

Day 1 - arrive in Glasgow, UK at approximately 5:30am EST. Look around
           warily while I try and figure out how I will stay awake the entire day.
           Spend $800,000 shopping. Go to a pub where I will pass out on the
           cushioned seating and then proceed to the hotel I have booked, which
           resembles a weird space pod from 1970 but has great reviews on
           Tripadvisor.ca

Day 2 - continue wandering around Glasgow, UK. Spend another $4600
             shopping. Repeat the night before. 

Day 3 - 10:00am pickup by Timberbush Tours (timberbush-tours.co.uk), where
             they will navigate the dangerous terrains of I don't know where. Final
             destination: The Isle of Skye for two nights.

Day 5 - begin the journey to Edinburgh. Pass Scarlett Johansson driving in a
            truck wearing a strange dark-brown wig. She looks scary. Evening time
            comes and we arrive in Edinburgh.

Day 6 - wander around Edinburgh for 12 hours and hope my shoes don't fall
             apart in a dramatic scene in the middle of Princes street. Probably go to
             Edinburgh castle.

Day 7 - take the train to Dunfermline. Must investigate where Grandma grew
            up, among other things. Take train back to Edinburgh and do more
            wandering. Watch Italy world cup game in a pub because I'll be with an
            Italian.

Day 8 - take train to St Andrews, the home of golf. I don't like golf. I will visit
            the cathedral and the beach, and hopefully play on the great mini-golf
            course.

Day 9-12 - more wandering around Edinburgh. I'm not going into specifics
             because it's none of your business!! But I intend to look at castles and
             other things of that nature.

Day 13 - go home

And there is my incredibly detailed itinerary for my Scotland trip.

In all seriousness, you smell like poopy.

In all seriousness for real, researching a two week trip to an unfamiliar place all by yourself is not easy, but it is possible. I'm not GOING by myself, but I PLANNED it myself. No I am not BITTER about it, don't get me WRONG! I just wanted to CLARIFY that.

Here are some things I've learned during my e-travels through the land of Researchville:

1) Online travel forums are actually kind of useful! Ask many stupid, repetitive questions and ask them often. There are many local experts e-standing by and waiting to impart their knowledge on people like me, who don't bother researching previous forum topics before starting a new topic.

2) Don't book a hotel before investigating all other options. You can go the Air BnB route if you don't mind paying the service fee. Or you can find places online with holiday letting listings, which is what I did. I saved about $80 a night doing this, with the place I'm staying at in Edinburgh.

3) Be realistic with time frames. If you think your itinerary isn't overcrowded, then it probably is. I personally resorted to such internet searches as "what castle is prettier" or "will I be sad if I don't see this castle" and "do the unicorns in Scotland wander up to you for a carrot" and surprisingly this helped me trim a couple from my list.

4) Be realistic about travel within the country. At first I thought I could just drive all over Scotland. It didn't take long to realise I was horribly mistaken.  Not even the fact that the cars are opposites there, but the fact that there are constant herds of unicorns crossing the roads, and I don't know if I'm an experienced-enough driver to navigate properly.  I am now aware that my only methods of travel will be tour bus or train. Or a combination of my feet & legs moving in harmony.

That's all the information I have so far on planning a trip, none of which is extremely useful but I'm sharing it anyway because this is my blog and I will do what I want! There will be a future blog post about the actual trip, which hopefully is far more interesting than me just talking about a trip I will be going on, at some point in the near future.


Loch Coruisk, Isle of Skye painted in 1874 by Sidney Richard Percy.
Yes, I'm going here.  Check out that herd of grazing Unicorns.  

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